I am not interested in pursuing a society that uses analysis, research, and experimentation to concretize their vision of cruel destinies for those bastards of the pilgrims; a society with arrogance rising, moon in oppression, and sun in destruction.”
Barbara Cameron

(via quantumfuturism)

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teaching has got me going up the walls.

i enjoy what i do, but something feels off. being here has showed me that i need to develop a work ethnic. a work ethnic to not only be an effective teacher, but also to be the person that i am trying to teach my students to be.

i’m realizing to do that, i need to dead this ego shit. really. and it’s weird because i feel like teaching is a profession that requires an ego. a nearly impenetrable conviction to one’s self, insofar their ability to be the bearer of knowledge.

naw… i’m good on that. is it possible to be a teacher without the ego compromising a lesson? i feel like i’ve been unbiased in my teaching… i feel like i’ve tried to communicate to my students that i do not know everything. and this fact is something always at the edge of my awareness, like a spiderweb caught in my eyelashes… i’m a first year teacher in a program that aims to get people who did not study the hard and fast principles of pedagogy into the classroom.

i want to create. been talking with my family (thank G-d for them) about what i want. i want to make things. i want to write poetry, and stories about travelers from distant planets and planes of the mind. i want to re-create the images that captivate me when i’m sitting on my porch… passing tail lights of cars super-imposed and blurred. bleached deserts and alien pastures…

i feel like i need to be re-programmed. need to be re-educated. need to have my brain wrung-dry and refilled. these next two years will be a process in internalizing the work ethic i need to live the life i really want to live.

that life is full of lights and motion. it’s full of tiny spaces in which i can catch my breath in between moments of creative frenzy. feeling like… calm like a bomb sort of waiting. want to explode…. or implode, maybe. nurture the inner-world and have it pasted on my eyelids, so even in dreamless sleeps i have a blueprint for my waking life.

i want to love better. i want to make better. i want to do better. time to renew.

if i have to, i’ll let this winter eat me. i’ll let it shape me into something more passionate, more grateful, and more conscious.

really. i feel like it’s time to give this ego shit a rest.

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Wheels of Soul, West Philadelphia
I am not human. SZA - Aftermath (via szaforthesoul)

(via kendrickkilledmyvibe)

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Been thinking about them all day… all week. Dont have to be at work til 9am tomorrow so I’m staying up late and working on the #choppingblock

Paying homage to my thoughts and prepping for #Ab-soul this weekend

Kerry James Marshall | When Frustration Threatens Desire, 1990.
~ The title of that painting is a quote from Paul Garon’s book, Blues and the Poetic Spirit: “Magic is evoked when frustration threatens desire.” It’s talking about the moments when voodoo and things like that are employed as devices to win over somebody, somebody that you usually want but can’t get. ~
From a conversation with Calvin Read @ BOMB Magazine